Last week my sponsor kid, Protogene, turned 12. Under normal circumstances a 12th birthday would be a big cause for celebration! For Protogene -living in a remote village in northern Rwanda, where the AIDS crisis has killed many and crippled remaining family members, where lack of healthcare facilities make common illness life threatening, and where food insecurity and lack of clean water make survival a daily struggle- it is a huge freaking accomplishment. Either way, I’m proud of my kid! I wish so much that I could celebrate with him in person. My mom and I had a cupcake with candles in his honor and I sent him a beach ball and a card. I sent it as a birthday gift for him, but I’m getting a huge kick out of picturing him playing with his friends in the luscious hills of Rwanda!
Getting to know my “sponsor-monster” is one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. (I should mention, Protogene is not a real monster, but my boyfriend and I have affectionately adopted the nickname, probably for no other reason than because it rhymes.) Protogene, being quite the opposite of a monster, is the oldest of four children and lives with his mother. His father passed away, whether due to the AIDs crisis or any of the other problems endemic to chronic poverty I’ve never had the heart to ask. In his short life he’s had to look after his younger siblings; he’s never completed a full year of school; he’s been surrounded by death as his remote village struggles with its own personal AIDS crisis; and has worked hard every day of his young life to help his family make ends meet.
Protogene has diplomatically given up his education and –I imagine- much of his youth, to care for his family. He’s quite the little knight in shining armor. My little honey never brags or complains in his letters, he just talks about his love for his family, his desire to stay in school, his love of the English language and the fact that he’d like to “visit me in Apple,” (my NYC home). In my own life, whenever I’m upset about dirty dishes or needing a vacation, his amazing attitude in sets me right immediately.
I decided to become a sponsor last year around this time. My routine of working, paying bills, going out with friends, spending and constantly cleaning my crowded home was draining; it felt empty and I just knew that I needed to connect with something greater than myself, someone who could remind me how much more meaning there is in life when you love unconditionally, give yourself to others, and become a more active member of the human family. I felt that connecting with a kid who is growing up without the luxuries I’ve always had, and helping that child claim a better life, would be exactly the dose of reality I needed to reset my priorities.
I should mention, I’m 25, barely make minimum wage and I’m diligently saving for graduate school. Money is a concern and although US$30 a month is not very much, I was nervous. But in the end, my need for friendship, for something deep and more meaningful than traffic and trips to the mall (living in the Garden State I have 7 malls and 5 major highways within a 2 mile radius of my home, yikes!) won out.
That week, I saw Protogene’s sweet, mellow face beaming at me from the sponsorship website and fell in love. Instantly. It was amazing. He was tall and older than all the other kids. He had the most intelligent eyes I’d ever seen and a little, lopsided smile that seemed to sort of burst with honest, genuine goodness. In a fit of premature but strong motherly hubris over a child I already felt deeply connected to, he looked to me like “the next Nelson Mandela.” In the end, the thought that –given a chance- he could in fact be a great world leader or a force for good, or at the very least a responsible and loving father (not a shabby ambition!) won out. I have to say, one or two nights a month I tell my friends I won’t be going out, instead I send some of the money I save to my kid, and I’ve never once missed it.
Protogene sends me cards all the time. He draws soccer balls on everything he sends, makes picture of his home –always in pencil only- and tells me all about how happy he is to be back in school and to know that our friendship is “helping his family be strong.” Throughout the past year his English has really improved! (My Kinyarwandan is still pretty horrendous, but I’m trying.) His letters aren’t always as chatty as I’d like; I can’t wait till he’s a little older and will forgo a soccer game to send his Jersey Girl buddy a longer update. Regardless, nothing in the world makes me happier than when I see the long and strange postal mark that comes on letters from postmarked from Rwanda.
I always laugh when he sounds like an American kid, talking about sports and food. I choke up a little when he casually mentions carrying water 6 miles or missing an exam to help his mother in their field as I imagine the serious hardships that must precipitate those casual remarks and wonder what it’s like for a smart, sensitive kid to grow up in extreme poverty. Still, it’s always wonderful to read his positive messages. I have more fun picking out small gifts to send him and drag my boyfriend all over our malls in pursuit of the perfect gift. (As of February 2011, I can report that glow in the dark silly bands became a high commodity in a remote village in Rwanda!) It means a lot to me when my boyfriend tells me that my Protogene stories are “keeping him good also.” My parents ask for updates as though he were a grandson and rejoice with me when he gets good grades and worry with me over his future. My friends are always on the lookout for cool toys to send a 12 year old and ask about “the Rwandan kid.” Protogene has created more love and good feelings for more people in NJ than he or I could have ever fathomed.
As we celebrate our “one year anniversary” I’ll get an updated picture of Proto and I cannot wait to see how much he’s grown! I can’t wait to hear about his grades this past semester; I can’t wait to see what he’s like as he grows into a man; and I cannot cannot cannot wait to meet him some day.
Sponsorship has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. My sponsor kid never ceases to amaze me with his love and goodness. Knowing I’m helping this special person get all he deserves out of life makes me so happy. Knowing that my sponsorship, combined with others, is making a real and lasting difference for an entire village of kids just like mine is unbelievable. Truly, I am a proud and happy sponsor momma!
**I met my own sponsor kid long before Develop Africa impressed me into becoming a volunteer, but I can speak volumes to their compassionate staff and incredible results. If you’d like to explore sponsorship (and I hope you do!!) I’d highly suggest doing it here!
